Yeah, you hunters you should be ashamed of yourself for killing animals for meat when you could be buying it at the store where it magically appears out of nowhere. Magic meat is high in anti-oxidants, low in fat, and is way cheaper. It’s produced by Harry Potter and Gandalf who teamed up in 2005 to create an out of thin air meat alternative with their magic wand, staff and potions. Buy magic meat now. Seriously though, if this clipping is real, where does this person think store meat comes from?
UPDATE: I’ve been getting a bunch of people messaging me that are confused about my “magic meat” statement. I was being sarcastic. There is no such thing as magic meat that appears out of thin air that’s magically created by Harry Potter and Gandalf. Furthermore Harry Potter and Gandalf are not real people. They are fictitious characters from novels and movies. I hope this clears things up.
If that’s not a warning sign of a potentially unstable person with a tendency to become a suicide bomber I don’t know what is. In addition to that it’s just one dumbass tattoo. Love the nipple piercings by the way. They just make that tatty look all the more menacing.
Let’s have a little fun with this post. Give me your best funny explanation as to how this accident could have happened; like if it had to be explained in an insane way to the insurance company. Something like, “um, I was driving and the drop off came out of nowhere and instead of stopping when I hit the railing I gunned it because I was high on mushrooms and thought a moose was chasing me.” Like that but way funnier and better. Post it in the comment section for shits and giggles and for all to laugh at.
“Hey! Hey!,” said in the voice of Krusty The Clown. Steven here welcoming you back to the latest addition of Top 5 Friday. I’m glad you could join me. Today’s list has a little bit of something for everyone. That is if you’re into stripping, beer, stupidity, commercials, and a not so graceful cat. If not, I don’t know what to tell you. Steven sits in silence saying nothing. But enough of that. On with the countdown.
#5. Bud Light Swear Jar Commercial
This commercial for Bud Light has been around for awhile. But since it’s almost the weekend I figured people would be in a beer drinking swearing kind of mood. And it just so happens that this clip incorporates both of those. So watch the @#$%&*@ video.
#4. Are Americans Really That Stupid?
As I watched this, I sat here in disbelief about the stupid things people actually say. It’s totally laughable. I know not everyone is a rocket scientist … but come on, are you kidding me? Are people really this stupid … or is it they just don’t care? You be the judge.
#3. You’re Stronger Than You Think
This is a weird commercial for Crunch fitness that I thought deserved a spot in the top 5. What you’re about to see is what it would be like if somebody got the head squished right off of their body. Watch it. See what I’m talking about. If you don’t, you might be the next one to suffer the fate of this unfortunate office worker.
#2. The Art Of Stripping
This guy must hold some kind of world record for getting naked. One second he’s fully clothed … then in about the time it takes you to snap your fingers, he’s in the buff. Although any of you hoping to see some full frontal male nudity, I hate to disappoint you, but no beans or franks make any appearances.
#1. Worst Cat Jump Ever!
I think this is a worthy choice for #1. I laughed so hard when I saw this for the first time I nearly crapped my pants. Well not really. The second time I saw it, I crapped my pants, cause I laughed as hard that time as the first time. I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. S–t happens. Anyways, here’s proof that cats don’t always land on their feet … and aren’t always the graceful of creatures.
Well there you have it, my top 5. I hope you enjoyed them. If I don’t see ya, have a good weekend party people. I’m outta here.
