Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

I think this gives new meaning to the term “no tan line”. (Chicken Crap)

• Does this picture means Jesus likes Weed? (Hail Mary Jane)
• Pole dancing taken to the streets (The Chive)
• More Pole Dancing taken to the streets (The Chive)
• Squeeze Me. Don’t mind if I do. (Big Smudge)
• 17 Bizarre Facts (Bacon Babble)
• Extreme Australian fishing (Funny Hub)
• Fearsome Fingernails (Found Shit)
• 6 funny signs (Funny Pics Of The Day)
• 10 funniest Tweets from the Grammy Awards (Comedy)
• Flashdance Seagull (College Humor)
• Woman slaps police officer (Totally Crap)
• First date Bingo (Holy Taco)
• I literally just farted [Funny T-Shirt] (Manofest)
• Watch out for the Google Maps car! (Clip Junkie)
• Roof jump Fail (Leenks)
• Cheesy Conan O’Brien (She Chive)
• Man caught Kissing his Chicken on the Subway (Skoopy)
• You’re doing it wrong (War Kitty)
• Dancing Owl (Break)

True Optimus Prime may be like a Robot Jesus, but can he walk on water … and more importantly turn water into wine? Hmm, walking on wine and turning water into wine, a possible idea of Transformers 3. Maybe Mel Gibson could direct. LOL.

(picture source = evil milk)

Hey Everybody! Steven here welcoming you back for another edition of Steven Links. I got some awesome stuff for you today starting off with a guy attempting to jump into the middle of a fountain but coming up inches short and faceplanting … and getting a bloody nose for his effort. Anyways, thanks for checking out Steven Humour today. Enjoy!

High tech bathroom lock makes pooping more difficult.

Woman attempts to cover up the smell of her fart.

Birthday presents – some are more memorable than others. Like this one for example.

Lulu the swimming monkey.

Mr. T raps about genealogy, fool.

The ultimate bike fail.

Funny Louisville chugger fail.

Referee gets knocked out during a rugby match.

Super Mario the mushroom dealer.

Insanely funny video of Jesus pwning a kid at various sports.

Funny cartoon illustrating what men really think about.

(video source = break)

I wonder if the chair next to this Jesus chair is a Moses chair?

(picture source = afrojacks)

• Driver’s Ed gone wrong!
• Girl pwns guy in play fight.
• Strange name for a small town.
• Freakiest tree you’ll see all day!
• Drunk people getting shamed.
• Craziest drinking straw ever!
• Jesus saves gangsters too.
• I think there’s an elephant in there that wants out. LOL.
• Cool Rayban viral video featuring a Chameleon.

Just imagine if Jesus was a goaltender on a hockey team.  He’d totally kick ass. Do you think anyone would even score on him? I think the opposition would be too afraid to score on him for fear they would go to Hell. That’s like the ultimate penalty box, with an afterlife spent in damnation wishing that you would’ve hit the post or just passed to your teammate instead of shooting.

I can only guess at this, but this is what I would think Jesus’ career statistics would look like.

Games played: As many as he felt like playing.  Who’s going to say he can’t.
Wins: Every game played, of course.
Loses: Yeah right, Jesus would never lose.
Goals against average: Zero.  No one scores on Jesus, cause he’s Jesus.
Save percentage: 100% because after all Jesus Saves.
League MVP: as many seasons as he played
League Championships: again, as many seasons as he played.

Would you expect anything less from the son of God?

Picture Source: : Freakshow Planet