Every so often I come across a product that’s useless, but in its’ own way kind of funny. Here’s one of those products now, it’s called the Trouser Expander. Granted it is amusing in that gag gift kind of way. I won’t deny that. But if your motivation is to buy it in an attempt to pump up your groin bulge, why bother wasting your money on this when the tried and true method of rolling up a gym sock and stuffing it down there works just as good?
Plus I think stuffing with a gym sock thing is like a dating law. I’m not a dating law lawyer, but I’m pretty sure cause I had a friend once who stuffed with newspaper and he totally got busted by some chick who heard his groin area crinkling every time he took a step and demanded to know what the noise was. He begrudgingly pulled the wadded up newspaper out of his pants and showed it to her. Luckily for him it was the comic section and that chick was a huge fan of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and the rest of the gang from Peanuts otherwise that could have been a really embarrassing situation and she might not have let him buy her a drink.
I had another friend who stuffed with a sausage, but things didn’t work out quite as well for him. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say that hungry pit bull who smelled the sausage got more of a meal than my friend would’ve liked. His name was Justin. He didn’t die or anything, but after the incident he had to change his name to Justine.
So as you can see, when you break the law, you pay the price. Some more than others.
Picture Source: Hahakiri
