Would You Let Your Son Wear This T-Shirt To School?

I have a friend who thought he would test out the theory that there is no such thing as being too drunk to fuck.  He didn’t think it was possible.  He claims he’s good to go at any time, day or night regardless of the circumstances; drunk, sober, hot, cold, or even in a room full of unattractive women.

As I recall for this challenge his liquor of choice was beer.  I don’t know why he didn’t go for something a little harder that he could get drunker quicker drinking and have less liquid intake.  To this day he doesn’t even know why he chose beer.  He doesn’t like beer.  So it makes little sense to either one of us.  He said if he was going to conduct the experiment again, he would go for rum and Coke, minus the Coke.  That’s his attempt at humour.  And granted it is somewhat funny the first time you hear it, but after about a thousand times (that’s about how many times I’ve heard it) it’s not quite as assuming … and borders on annoying.

The night of the experiment I wasn’t present.  I was doing something constructive with my time.  Plus I wasn’t in the mood to watch my friend get shit faced attempting something I thought was stupid and that I knew he was going to fail.  He kept me updated via the text message.  They went something like this.  Just finished my first beer and I’m horny as hell.  Beer #2 gone and my erection is holding strong.  Beer 3, 4, 5 drank and I’m ready for some action.  I’m at the bar now and just had another brewsky.  I’m 10 beers in and I’m having trouble finding the sexy ladies, the guys here are nice though.  2 more beers down the hatch and I have to piss bad.  I’m really drunk but feeling sexy.  Downed another beer, party hardy.  That there was the last text I got from him until the next day when he wrote, my head hurts and so does my asshole.  I replied, your asshole?  He said, yeah … apparently I passed out and my new friend Carlos who I met at the bar brought me home.  Your new friend Carlos huh, I said?  He said, yeah … last thing I remember was him helping me into my bed … but after that is a blur.

I think you can see where this story is going.  My friend later admitted that he was wrong in thinking that you can’t be too drunk to fuck.  You indeed can be.  I didn’t really have the heart to tell him that he might’ve been too drunk, but his new friend Carlos who he met at the bar that night wasn’t.  And just so you know, Carlos never even called him the next day or any other day for that matter.  Don’t you just hate it when guys do that?